


No Resistance, Need Assistance

by Mytay



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: And Ends Up Being Way More Trouble Than It's Worth, And Instead A Whole Ton of Complaining, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Sex Pollen, So Barely Any Sexy Times, Taken Willingly By Both Parties, The Author Regrets Everything, and awkwardness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 18:48:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11087739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mytay/pseuds/Mytay
Summary: “Lance,” Keith said, and maybe he was whining — he had no shame at this point. He had no energy to be ashamed. “I just … why did you agree to this?”“It wasn’t like I was alone in that room? You were there too!” Lance complained. “You heard the same science I did! You signed on the dotted line —”“We didn’t actually listen past theall-day marathonpart of the science, and you damn well know it.”“Well, what the cheese, dude? If you knew we were being dumb, why didn’t you stop us?!”Or, that sex pollen thing except done supremely awkwardly and with only a little bit of sexy times.





	No Resistance, Need Assistance

**Author's Note:**

> Have fic, please enjoy? (Title inspired by the lyrics of _Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me_ , from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.)
> 
> I posted the first part of this on my Tumblr ages ago, and when a few people liked it, I decided to finish it? So, yes, here it is! Apologies ahead of time — sometimes I really have no clue why my brain does stuff.

******

 

“ _What, why? No, c’mon_ ,  _man, I can’t ..._ ” Lance whined, stretched out on the bed, his long, lean body on full display, sweaty and naked — great things that Keith was normally _all about_ on a good day. Really, two years with Lance had brought on so many interesting, occasionally irritating, but also amazingly _good_ days.

 

This was not a good day.

 

This was shaping up to be one of the worst days _ever._

“Lance,” Keith said, and maybe he was whining too. He had no shame at this point. He had _no_ _energy_ to be ashamed. “I just … _why did you agree to this_?”

 

Keith sprawled out next to him, careful to keep his bare skin from touching Lance’s, since that would only lead to madness. Further madness that he literally had _zero_ ability to commit to right now.

 

“It wasn’t like I was _alone_ in that room?” Lance turned his head sluggishly, his hazy blue eyes narrowing. He looked like a drunken disaster (no doubt Keith did as well); his hair was sticking up all over, his lips were bitten red, and Keith felt that demanding urge again, but also fiery frustration because he was _too freaking tired._

 

“You were there too!” Lance complained. “You heard the same science I did! You signed on the dotted line —”

 

“We didn’t actually listen past the _all-day marathon_ part of the science, and you damn well know it.”

 

“Well, what the cheese, dude? If you knew we were being dumb, _why didn’t you stop us?!_ ”

 

“You just answered your own question — _I_ was being _stupid_ , and I wanted to …” He lifted a hand limply, barely a few centimetres off the wrecked bed, and made a half-hearted gesture at both of their naked bodies. “Yeah.”

 

“Use your words, Keith. We just banged six times in five and a half hours — you can actually say ‘sex’ right after we’ve had it, okay?”

 

“Fine,” Keith groaned out. “ _Sex_. We both wanted to have lots and lots of _sex,_ except this isn’t anything like … Holy crap, I am … Like I _want_ so _badly_ —”

 

“Right?!” Lance closed his eyes, inhaling sharply. “My body _physically can’t handle this anymore,_ but it _wants to_ at the same time? Why didn’t they program some, I don’t know, science-y stuff that keeps you from pulling a damn muscle?”

 

Keith could see Lance wincing as he massaged his left thigh. And then he shifted his gaze quickly because  _nope, no way, not again._

 

“My issue is the _chaffing_.” Keith stared at the ceiling despairingly, feeling burning along his skin in truly awkward places. “Apparently, that’s something else they didn’t … Lance, I change my mind. This is all your fault. You were the one that raised your hand … I’m an innocent victim who got swept up —”

 

“It’s been almost six hours. We can do this. It’s only another six.” Lance ignored Keith’s accusations while staring down at his own body. “Except we are not spending those six hours having sex. We are done for today.”

 

“So what do you want to do then? Tell them we give up?”

 

“Um, no? I refuse to walk out of here with a boner and a _yeah, no more sex for me_. That’s wrong on many levels. I can spend the next half dozen hours explaining to you how it offends me on multiple counts.”

 

“Please, spare me … or spar me? Let’s spar!” Keith rolled out of bed, cursing as he landed on his sore knees. (The first of those six times had involved them not even making it to the bed, and the floor was _marble._ ) “We can channel our energy into something that might actually tire us out.”

 

“Really, Keith?” Lance said wryly, still lying spread out like a starfish on the bed. “You seriously don’t see what could go wrong with us fighting naked right now? If I put even one hand on your —”

 

“Try me!” Keith said, having latched onto this idea with a desperation he had never felt before — namely, desperately wanting to avoid sex while also experiencing an unprecedented need to have it. With his boyfriend right here. In the same room. Naked. On a bed, no less. This was some kind of fresh torture not even the Galra had come up with.

 

Next time they volunteered their services to an alien race as lab rats, Keith would actually read the fine print first.

 

“Try what? This terrible idea?” Lance leaned up on his elbows, staring at him incredulously. “What is your deal?”

 

“My deal is that I’m about to burst out of my skin, and I need to _do something_ that isn’t _you._ ”

 

Lance considered this silently and then stood up on the mattress, his hands on his hips, which instantly drew Keith’s eyes down — well, to eye-level, really, what with Lance standing on the bed. He licked his lips, and Lance snapped his fingers, forcing Keith’s eyes upwards to his boyfriend’s frustrated expression.

 

“No pinning! And nothing above the knee or below the waist!”

 

Keith nodded frantically and then completely lost the thread when Lance chucked a pillow in his face. The ensuing fight lasted maybe ten minutes — Lance was quick, and he had learned a lot in the last couple of years, but Keith still had a slight edge on him, a touch of brutality Lance had never quite been able to develop. Eventually, Keith had Lance’s arm behind his back, twisted up, and his other hand was in Lance’s hair, gripping firmly but not painfully.

 

Of course, this also meant that, as he pulled the Blue Paladin’s head back to ask him to _Yield,_ he ended up breathing out the word into Lance’s ear, prompting a broken moan, and all the miles of brown skin pressed up against Keith were just so gorgeous, and he was _allowed,_ he _wanted to_ …

 

“Damn it, Keith!” Lance breathed out, clawing at the bed sheets. Keith moved behind him, both of them on the floor, with Lance’s chest bent over the mattress. They were going to have raw knees after this, and that chaffing was _seriously_ becoming a problem. “Hold your horses, cowboy, _ow!_ Wait _, that doesn’t mean stop!_ Just … slow down … like that, yes, thank you … Idiot, this is _your fault!_ ”

 

“Yes, I know, bad idea. Maybe this will be it, and we’ll finally be tired enough to sleep?” Keith suggested wistfully, as his body basically did its own thing without him having to think about it.

 

Lance opened his mouth to argue, let out a moan instead, and then jerked his head around to glare at Keith. “I can already tell you that isn’t going to happen. It’s … _oh …._ going to be exhausting, and we’ll _try_ to sleep … but … _ah …_ then we’ll feel that damn … Screw this and just finish already!”

 

Keith gave a long-suffering sigh. “Your dirty talk could use work.”

 

“ _You hate dirty talk, jackass_!” Lance yelped, his head dropping down onto the bed, his hands forming fists. Keith could have sworn he heard the sheets tearing — _again_ — but right in that moment he went temporarily deaf and blind, and when he came to his senses, he was collapsed over Lance’s back, and they were both gasping for air. He couldn’t give less of a damn about the sheets, more concerned about his and Lance’s muscles spasming _agonizingly._

 

They were also so disgustingly drenched in sweat, it made him want to … “Lance, cold water!”

 

“Hydration is important,” Lance spoke into the blankets, muffled, a pained groan reverberating between their bodies. Keith shuddered, and Lance elbowed him. “I remember that much from the information package they gave us. It was on the first page. Didn’t read much past that. Shame.”

 

“Yes, that, but we have a bathroom. A really big one. With a giant tub. Let’s fill it with cold water —”

 

“Oh wow, that’s awful … but also _really awesome.”_ Lance unstuck himself from the bed, and then he nudged Keith until he could shift out from underneath the Red Paladin. The sound their skin made when they separated was _gross._ Keith made a noise of revulsion in the back of his throat, but he didn’t bother with the basket of cleaning cloths they had been so graciously provided. He stood up on shaking legs, reaching down to help Lance to his feet.

 

“Move,” Lance ordered, letting go of Keith’s hand as soon as he was standing. “Man, do you think we could get ice in here?”

 

“We made them promise to leave us alone with no cameras and stuff,” Keith reminded him. “We have that panic button?”

 

“Okay, no, no pushing of the panic button. This isn’t something to panic over. We can endure this. It’s fine. We’ve had worse crap happen. Remember the planet with the giant wasps? That was terrifying.”

 

“Nah, the slug people were the worst. They were so _nice,_ but so _slimy,_ and Allura was going to space us if we didn’t shake their hands, but the _smell_ —”

 

“Holy crow, how could I forget that?” Lance tripped over the threshold into the bathroom (that was covered in beautiful granite-like stone, light grays and blues and turquoise, but Keith lacked the drive to be in proper awe). Lance’s face twisted up. “Wow, now I _really_ want a bath. The memories are making my skin crawl.”

 

The bathtub was set into the floor, the size of a small pool, and Keith had already turned the cold-water tap as far as it could go. When the water came out so icy that his hand went numb inside of two seconds, he decided that a touch of hot water was needed so they didn’t get hypothermia. Once it was acceptably cold, he slid down into the partially filled tub — so ridiculously extravagant in its size — and started shivering even with the water only up to his knees.

 

“This _sucks_.” Keith sat down on a small bench that stuck out about halfway down the depths of the tub. “But it also feels really good? Man, this may have permanently broken something in me.”

 

Lance lingered outside until the water was up to Keith’s chest and finally took the plunge. Literally. He jumped in, thoroughly soaking his boyfriend, and shrieking like a banshee as the cool liquid hit his overheated skin.

 

“ _What the actual — Keith, this is ideal polar bear temperature, you lunatic!_ ”

 

“Yeah? And do you feel like jumping me right now?” Keith countered, leaning back and crossing his arms.

 

“I … don’t?” Lance said slowly, sounding awe-struck. “ _Coño_ , is this what it feels like to be normal? I barely remember it … so _nice_ and _relaxing …_ ” He sunk lower, his eyelids fluttering shut in ecstasy even while he shivered. “Oh yes.”

 

Keith laughed, ducking down into the water, floating in the icy depths for a few seconds before surging back upwards. He could feel his temperature dropping, and so he knew they couldn’t stay in here for long, but the coldness was _helping,_ it was …

 

Lance had apparently done the same as Keith, except he was lingering under water for far longer. Keith watched his distorted form from the surface, Lance causing waves as he came up.

 

Thoroughly soaked, water sliding down his muscles, and his blue eyes opening, fixating on Keith, an easy smile on his face …

 

“ _Oh, you have got to be kidding me,_ ” Keith rasped. “Lance, stop.”

 

“Stop what?” he asked, confused.

 

Keith shook his head, trying frantically to find his calm, his serenity of just a minute ago. He raked his fingers through his wet hair, pressing his lips together tightly, but even in this frigid water, the need burned inside him _again,_ and so _strange_ with such a cool exterior, and also, _stupidly tiring._ It almost made him sick to his stomach, the wild contrast between freezing water and fire in his gut.

“Keith what … crap. Never mind, no, it’s fine, don’t even tell me, actually, don’t even …”

 

“Lance,” Keith said helplessly, lifting his gaze up and seeing Lance staring at him in horror.

 

Those blue eyes dilated, and Lance chewed on his lower lip, pausing to beg, “Don’t say anything, please …”

 

“ _Lance._ ” Keith couldn’t resist speaking, his voice ragged.

 

His boyfriend cursed loudly, closing the distance between them in less than a second. He stopped just short of embracing Keith, his hands forming fists beneath the water. “Okay, okay, we’re grown-ups. We have, like, self-control and, and, no stupid alien flower is going to …”

 

“So, your rambling turns me on now,” Keith interrupted him, causing Lance to flinch, his hands flying up to hide his blushing face. “Hopefully that isn’t a permanent side affect, or we’re going to keep being screwed long after this is over.”

 

“No _puns,_ you jerk, _no puns._ ” Lance uncovered his eyes, the blue nearly completely eclipsed by black. “I hate you so much right now _._ ”

 

“I’m having flashbacks to two and a half years ago … Except we were never naked in the same room back then.” Keith shook not from the cold, but from the restraint it took to keep his hands _off_ Lance.

 

“Naked … so much naked. If clothes didn’t itch me like hell I’d say let’s bundle up in fifty layers and just …” Lance caved, his hands reaching for Keith under water so carefully, as if the Red Paladin wouldn’t notice the soft caresses to his thighs. Keith fell back onto the bench, but those stroking fingers followed him. Lance’s voice grew huskier the more he spoke, “Hey, speaking of flashbacks, remember when we had that stupid swimming contest —”

 

“Oh good, you finally admit that was the dumbest —”

 

“And you freaked out when I didn’t come out of the lake —”

 

“At most I was mildly concerned —”

 

“ _Point being,_ I could hold my breath … for a really _long_ time _,_ ” Lance finished, rolling his eyes. He sighed, (a tired, world-weary sigh that had Keith wondering how _anyone_ could stay turned on when their partner sounded so damn _unhappy_ about the whole thing), and then Lance dove beneath the surface to … Right, it would take a stronger person than Keith to lose interest _now,_  even without the help of a freakish alien flower whose pollen had wrecked … stuff. Things.

 

Keith couldn’t actually think clearly anymore, no, not even a little.

 

He did have a brief moment of panic when a couple of minutes went by with Lance under water, but Lance surfaced soon after, gasping, and then proceeded to kiss Keith with cold lips but a warm tongue. Keith felt dizzy, and yes, that could most likely be blamed on the crippling exhaustion _,_ but a portion of that loss in equilibrium rested with Lance, doing things that should not be possible while submerged in water.

 

Which he did again, for another couple of minutes — Keith squirmed and moaned, and then immediately stopped making noise because the echo around the bathroom was horrifying, but Lance was making life impossible, as usual, and Keith couldn’t think _at all_ now _._ He needed … Lance seemed to know what, although Keith had no idea how. This time, when he surfaced, he stayed, kissing Keith gently, one hand fisted in his black hair while his other hand plunged into the water.

 

And when Keith lost his mind completely, Lance was there, holding him up, so he didn’t sink and drown as his limbs went numb.

 

“You still alive?” Lance spoke in a breathy, broken whisper against Keith’s ear.

 

Keith opened eyes he hadn’t noticed were closed, and his answer was to sweep his still-tingling arms under Lance’s thighs, lifting him up and onto the edge of the tub. The air in the bathroom was chillier than the water had become, and Lance immediately started shivering.

 

“Dude, what —”

 

Keith didn’t give him time to protest, the burning in him demanding to be quenched, so he floated between Lance’s legs, shoving them apart and then pulling him in closer by the hips. Lance’s complaints were cut off by a hoarse groan. Keith was vaguely satisfied by this, but it wasn’t enough. He needed his boyfriend to _shatter._

When Lance broke, it was to the tune of a despairing moan, high-pitched and cracking. “ _Keith, no, I_ —” He shuddered and Keith pulled away, watching with his lids half-closed as Lance shook and cried out. He collapsed backwards onto the floor of the bathroom, one arm coming up to cover his eyes. “I am never having sex again.”

 

“You said that an hour ago.” Keith took his time getting out of the water, cautious since he wasn’t too sure his arms could support his weight. In the end, it was a weird little turtle crawl that got him onto the floor next to Lance.

 

“I meant it then too, but this freaking pollen …” He shivered harder. “Okay, there’s being cold to stop this, and there’s dying of hypothermia. Let’s get dry and think of another plan.”

 

The bedroom temperature felt pleasantly warm after the cold bath, and once they were no longer soaking, they stopped shivering.

 

Keith turned to Lance, opening his mouth to suggest trying to sleep ( _again_ ), but Lance made a _shush_ gesture and said, “No. It’s not going to work. You, you stay here, on this side. I’m going over there. And we’ll try it like that for a bit. No eye contact. In fact, don’t even look in my direction.”

 

“Okay …” Keith inhaled deeply. “I’m just … gonna grab a few pillows.” The room was stocked with enough cushions and blankets for ten people, so in no time at all he’d made himself a very comfortable nest on the floor of one side of the room. Lance had done the same on the opposite side, and when they both sat down in their little pillow forts, the bed blocked them from each other’s view.

 

“This might work,” Lance said proudly. “I’m a genius.”

 

“And if you can manage to keep your mouth shut, we might actually get some sleep,” Keith agreed, and he grinned when a small pillow came flying at him from across the room. He caught it easily, impressed but not surprised by Lance’s aim, and tucked it behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling.

 

Just like the bath, this did work for a while… But when Keith had relaxed enough to close his eyes, more than ready to _sleep …_ His brain immediately took a hard right away from blissful unconsciousness and straight into a full-colour, high definition replay of everything he and Lance had done in the last six and a half hours.

 

Judging by the disgusted groan he heard from the other side of the room, Lance was in a similar predicament.

 

“Well, crap.” Lance sighed. “Okay, new plan.”

 

“Can’t wait to hear this.”

 

“I am going to tell you all the things I hated about you back when we first met.”

 

“You mean when you first met me? Because I didn’t even remember who you were.”

 

Lance’s hand appeared, displaying a certain finger. “That’s the spirit. Well, let’s start with the obvious — your damn hair.”

 

“Yeah?” Keith grinned to himself. “Except that now you freak out when I suggest a trim.”

 

“Shut up, we’re talking about the Lance of two and a half years ago — and your mullet was painfully horrible back then. It’s improved since.”

 

“It’s basically the same. And I hated your voice.”

 

“My … voice?”

 

“Yeah,” Keith said with a smirk Lance couldn’t see. “It grated the ears. Just constant chatter, and you hit this pitch when you were _really_ annoyed, like a yowling cat or —”

 

“O- _kay. Cabrón._ Your lack of self-care, I mean, your _pores,_ Keith. They were _killing me._ ”

 

“No more than your piloting _literally_ almost killed me. Need I remind you about the Calindor Incident?”

 

“We said we wouldn’t count that, since I was _bleeding to death at the time._ Also, you were _mostly unconscious,_ what the hell do you even remember of that?”

 

Keith wasn’t sleepy now so much as highly amused. Lance’s outrage didn’t bother him anymore, just had him hiding smiles and swallowing down laughter. “Hm, I remember throwing up at least twice on our way back to the Castle.”

 

“Yeah, so do I,” Lance admitted, still aggravated. “Which reminds me, hated you so much for not showering immediately after your training exercises. You’d come into the kitchen and stink up the joint. Animal.”

 

“And you would take _forever_ in the shower after we trained together — didn’t exactly help with breaking that bad habit of mine. I had enough time to eat a full meal and wash my own dishes before you were done.”

 

“Yeah, well, you … also borrowed my shampoo without asking! And then … you’d deny it … but I could _smell it on you,_ you idiot …”

 

Keith’s eyes widened; he could hear some noises that sounded distinctly like … “Lance, are you —”

 

Lance immediately denied it. “Nope, no way. We’re talking about stuff that ticked me off about you, why would I —”

 

_“Lance, seriously?!”_

 

There was a long silence, and then the noises resumed along with Lance’s desperate voice, “Look, half the crap that bothered me I actually _like_ now _,_ okay? And even when I don’t like it, it’s all _you,_ and I _like you._ So it’s … This was a bad idea. Damn it _, no puedo …_ I can’t stop now, so you just … stay over there.”

 

“Except that I can _hear you,_ and it’s …” Keith let out a quiet whine. Every single muscle in his body _screamed_ at him to _stay the hell down._ Not to move, not to do anything other than breathe, and even that at a slow, measured pace. But Lance kept making these quiet, wet little sounds, and … “Screw it, I’m coming to you.” He hated himself for standing, and that loathing increased with each trembling step around the bed.

 

“Keith, c’mon, don’t move —”

 

“Too late, moron, you should’ve thought of that before …” Keith was momentarily struck dumb by the sight of Lance, splayed out on the pile of cushions like he was part of someone’s _harem,_ and naked (really, they’d been naked for _almost seven hours_ by now, how was this still _fresh_ ).

 

Lance stared up at him, his mouth forming a crooked, tired smile. “Hey dude, what’s hanging?”

 

Keith rolled his eyes. “I hated your lame jokes, too, by the way.”

 

“You _blaspheme,_ my jokes are the _best_. Second only to Hunk’s really. Well, maybe Pidge’s too, that girl can really get her snark on —”

 

“I wish that talking about the others was a way to stop this, but all you’re doing is making me really uncomfortable, Lance,” Keith said as he dropped onto the cushions between Lance’s legs.

 

“Yeah, you’re right, so weird, gotta stop — and you, you go lock yourself into the bathroom —”

 

“The bathroom door has no lock, we’ve discussed this —”

 

“Keith, _Keith —_ ”

 

Things devolved from there.

 

Keith was half on the destroyed pile of pillows, half on the floor by the time they both collapsed again. Lance’s chest heaved, one of his legs on Keith’s back. Keith opened his eyes to see Lance fisting two hands in his hair in anguish, his neck arched rather appealingly … Keith had never wanted to slap himself before now, but really, _how? Why? Stop._

“Okay. Food. We need to eat, and then we need to come up with another plan.” Lance sounded tired enough to wish for death. Keith might already be there, actually.

 

“No — yes, on the food — but no more plans. We’re pushing that damn panic button,” Keith said firmly. Or as firmly as he could considering his voice was a wreck; he slurred half his words, and his eyes could barely stay open enough to glare at Lance.

 

Lance wobbled to his feet, stumbling to the small buffet and fridge they had been provided with. “We are not pushing the button, and I’m gonna leave aside my personal reasons — though they are valid and totally important — and remind you that the _Emperor’s_ _daughter_ is the lead researcher. Allura and Shiro would be very disappointed if we do anything to impact this alliance.”

 

“Lance —”

 

“And! And these people, the low sex-drives are literally causing their population to _die out._ This is an incredibly vital science thing we’re helping out with. It’s …” Lance waved a hand that was holding a veggie wrap, dropping a few pieces of purple leaves onto the floor. “It’s like we’re performing some great, altruistic civic duty, and if we back out … it would feel _scummy._ ”

 

“Lance, shut up and eat your food.” Keith sat up, running a hand through his hair, searching for a solution that didn’t end with them jeopardizing a valuable alliance, terminating a potentially species-saving science experiment, and damaging their own pride.

 

Something was going to have to give.

 

“Here.” Lance’s feet appeared in his line of vision, and Keith reluctantly looked up those long, gorgeous legs to the hand sticking a veggie wrap in his face. “You need to eat, too, bae.”

 

“Gross. Almost prefer _babe_ to that.”

 

“Sorry, you don’t get to choose right now. I’m tired, and _bae_ is nice and short. Unlike your —”

 

“Nope, no sexual innuendos allowed.”

 

“At this point, does it matter?” Lance asked gloomily, collapsing on the bed, munching the last of his wrap. “I could be talking about cleaning up after Coran’s Slipperies incident, and you would still get turned on.”

 

Keith groaned. “Oh god, please don’t.” He took a big bite of the wrap, and inside of one minute he’d consumed the whole thing. He stood up and teetered over to the buffet, grabbing a small bowl of salad and some pita-bread-like discs. Keith took a seat next to Lance because _why not._ They were going to end up glued to each other shortly, so better spare his poor body the trip.

 

“Pidge is going to mock us for _months_ ,” Lance said, tearing a piece of the pita bread for himself. “She warned us that this would be a lot more challenging than it seemed …”

 

“So did Coran, actually,” Keith reminded Lance, pulling his pita bread further away and shoving the rest of it into his mouth before Lance could take anymore.

 

The Blue Paladin rolled his eyes. “Hunk said he was hoping we’d be fed up by the time this was over, so he wouldn’t have to walk in on us for at least a week.”

 

“That time in the kitchen was _your fault,_ ” Keith immediately defended himself, swallowing the ball of bread in his throat.

 

“And that time on the _bridge_ was _yours._ ” Lance looked smug. “Ah, that one was … particularly memorable.”

 

Keith chewed on his salad, feeling a smile tug on his mouth. “Yeah.” And then his eyes widened. He struggled to get the leaves down, opening his mouth to gasp. “Lance, _Lance. We haven’t … we’re not …_ ”

 

“We’re not … Oh my god, we’re _not_!” Lance seemed both thrilled and confused. “We’re not … But why?”

 

A few moments later, a tentative series of knocks echoed in the room.

 

“Um, yes, hi?” Lance called, his eyes still huge as they processed the sudden absence of sexual impulses.

 

“Paladins, our readings show a distinct … lack of activity. Are you two still affected?”

 

Lance stared at Keith. Keith stared back. They both shrugged at the same time.

 

“I don’t think we are, Dr. Gorshu. Sorry? Um, can you give us a little bit to shower and dress, and we’ll … figure this out?”

 

“Of course! We are releasing the mechanisms on the door, and you are welcome to join us in the observatory.”

 

“Great, wonderful,” Lance muttered, wiping at his face tiredly.

 

A second time in the water, fast and efficient, had them cleaned up. They put on a fresh pair of pants and shirts — clothes had been a real problem almost right away under the influence of the pollen. Anything other than bare skin or the soft material of the sheets and pillows had made their bodies itch. Keith took a moment to relish the feel of the form-fitting cotton-like pants and dark red shirt. Lance’s baggier sweatpants and long sleeved hoodie-shirt seemed equally comfortable. Keith pulled on the sleeves, smiling.

 

“Never thought I would say this, but it’s nice to see you covered up.”

 

Lance laughed. “You too, Red. Damn, but your legs look _nice_ in those. Hm. I mean, I can appreciate and not want to tear them off. It’s fabulous.”

 

“Same goes for your arms in that shirt,” Keith said with satisfaction. He was tired right down to his bones, but it no longer felt like he was on the verge of collapse; it was truly astonishing how much better it felt when he didn’t have the overwhelming need to pin his boyfriend to the nearest surface.

 

Lance linked their hands together, squeezing gently. “All right, let’s go out and face our humiliation like the Defenders of the Universe that we are.”

 

The scientists had been waiting for them on the other side of the door, various devices and sensors pointed towards them as soon as they stepped through. Dr. Adinu Gyiak, the Emperor’s daughter, came forward first, smiling brightly. Their species was shorter than humans on average — Lance called them _The Purple Hobbit People_ when they weren’t within earshot — and their skin tones were all different shades of violet. Keith called them hobbits in his own head as well because the species name was way, _way_ too difficult to get his tongue around.

 

“You no longer have the pollen in your system. We’ll need to take some samples to see why,” Dr. Gyiak said apologetically. “But while it didn’t last the total twelve hours, it was potent for roughly seven. That may be sufficient …”

 

“Oh, trust us, it’ll be more than sufficient.” Lance scratched at the back of his neck, shooting Keith a rueful smile.

 

“Well, your physiology is more robust than our own, and so we’re very grateful for your help, Paladins. The animal trials were successful, but our own systems being delicate as they are, the next phase of testing would’ve been incredibly slow-paced … You humans truly are a marvel,” Dr. Gorshu finished, a dark blush high on his cheeks. “The, uh, data we accrued was … illuminating.”

 

“Wait, I may have missed this in the debrief,” Keith said as they walked into the lab down the hall, “but how strong of a dosage did you give us?”

 

“A solution of eighty-four percent concentration,” Dr. Gyiak answered after she'd entered the lab ahead of them, already reaching for a syringe to gather blood samples.

 

“Okay, yeah, so for the sake of your more ‘delicate’ constitution, you are going to wanna cut that in half. No, maybe even down to a quarter. Holy crap,” Lance breathed out. He flinched a little as blood was drawn. “Because — and this is for the sake of your science, so _please never let it leave this room_ — Keith and I were _dying_ in there.”

 

“It certainly sounded it like sometimes,” said another scientist, and when both Lance and Keith whipped around to stare at her, she blushed even darker than Dr. Gorshu had.

 

“You said the walls were soundproof when the door was locked,” Keith croaked.

 

“They were! We simply … There was a point where we grew concerned, your temperatures spiked so high. We unlocked the door to check, but you were fine, clearly, so …” Dr. Gorshu stopped rambling when Lance, now free as Dr. Gyiak moved over to Keith, buried his face in his hands.

 

“Keith, I just want you to know that voyeurism is not one of my kinks.”

 

“I mean, except for that one time back on …” Lance glared at him viciously, so Keith redirected his sentence. “But I’ll give you a pass in this case,” Keith finished faintly, also somewhat mortified.

 

“We’re very sorry, we only wanted to make sure you were … intact?” Dr. Gorshu was blushing a very dark purple.

 

“I am chaffed and bruised to the nth degree in areas that should _never experience chaffing or bruising,_ ” Lance rattled off, his hands falling away from his face. “But we were in one piece all throughout, I assure you.”

 

“Oh good, so you didn’t break each other in half,” Pidge said, causing Keith to groan out loud.

 

“No, what are you doing here?” Lance demanded. “You said you wanted nothing to do with this!”

 

“I really didn’t,” Pidge concurred, pushing her glasses up her nose. “But then, you know, _science was happening,_ and I had to at least see the results. This pollen is fascinating in that its basic genetic structure is very similar to chemicals that pheromones —“

 

“Great, okay, have fun with that. Is Coran around the corner too? Shiro?” Lance scrubbed at his face with one hand, his eyelids drooping. “Screw it, I don’t care. Can we sleep now?”

 

Pidge bounced over to Lance’s side, giving him a side-hug. “You sure you’re doing all right? I double-checked all the parameters and formulas before you two were dosed, but obviously, as this was an experiment, not every factor could be —”

 

“We’re good, _chiquilla,_ ” Lance said fondly. He pulled Pidge in for a longer hug, and then used her to support his weight as he made his way to a sofa at the far end of the room. “Right, I’ll be over here if you need me.”

 

Pidge deposited Lance onto the soft cushions. He immediately curled up, ignoring one of the scientists who came over to take his temperature and to shove a blood pressure cuff on his arm.

 

The Green Paladin turned to Keith. “Without telling me any details, what happened? You’re out way earlier than expected …”

 

“We don’t know,” Keith said, taking a few faltering steps over to the same sofa Lance was on — Pidge caught him as his leg muscles basically told him _fuck off, we’re done,_ and he fell onto Lance. The Blue Paladin muttered a few curses in Spanish, but otherwise didn’t move as Keith adjusted his limbs so that Lance’s legs were spread over his lap and Keith could lean back comfortably. “We were … not able to stop and then suddenly, we were. I don’t have Lance’s hang-ups about this, so I’m telling you now that I’m _glad_ what happened, happened. Lance and I were five minutes away from pushing the damn panic button.”

 

Pidge let out a snort, her eyes glinting. “Oh, that is so getting rubbed in his face once he’s out of his coma. But what caused the pollen to deactivate?”

 

“We’re running their blood right now, Pidge,” said Dr. Gyiak. “Total, they were affected for approximately seven hours.”

 

She frowned. “I figured you’d collapse at about the ten hour mark. Hunk called eleven. Shiro plugged his ears and started singing Led Zeppelin — too bad for him, he’s out of the pot now.”

 

“Tell me Coran and Allura didn’t get in on that,” Keith begged.

 

Pidge ignored him, her eyes scanning the screens. “Really, I was wondering how the pollen would affect your muscles and general stamina for … just the sheer practicality of motion and exertion and … um, the strains of … release.” Pidge sighed. “You know, if you guys weren’t basically brothers to me, this would be _way_ easier to talk about.”

 

“Dr. Gyiak!” One of the other scientists interrupted them with an excited shout. “The results show that pollen in their bloodstream was … _dissolved_ somehow. By the roots of the _jolouin_ plant. It was in the food we prepared!”

 

“Ah, now that is fascinating, and a good find!” Dr. Gyiak brought the image up onto the screen. “Pidge, do you see what happened?”

 

“Yes!” Pidge said excitedly. “This enzyme broke the pollen down into its base components, completely negating its affects nearly instantaneously! Good thing — Lance and Keith look pretty much murdered over there. You better have an antidote in case any of your people are similarly affected.”

 

“We’re adjusting the dosage based on these findings,” Dr. Gorshu said, taking a series of lightning fast notes. “And the temperature readings as well as the more physical side affects are being taken into account.”

 

Another scientist approached, looking a little sheepish. “I don’t suppose we could get pictures of the chaffing and bruising? We can take a few deep tissue scans to see the affect on your muscles, but …”

 

Keith glanced at his boyfriend — Lance was so deeply asleep he hadn’t budged, not even an eyelid flutter, all throughout this conversation. “Sure, whatever you need, as long as we don’t have to move.”

 

His own eyelids kept pressing down, demanding to be closed. Pidge drifted back over to his side, patting him on the head. “I’ll make sure it’s quick so we can get you guys back onto the Castle. Shiro and Hunk will carry you.”

 

“Great,” Keith said, too sleepy to care about appearances. “Don’t wanna get laid for at least a month after this.”

 

Pidge laughed somewhere above him. “Oh, I’m gonna remember that. Go to sleep, Keith.”

 

With Lance’s warmth (soft and no longer over-heated and driven) pressed in close, and Pidge’s quiet reassurances, Keith drifted off into the deepest rest he’d ever had in his entire life — all in a day’s work for the Paladins of Voltron.

 

******

_Coda: Four Weeks Later_

******

 

“I’m going to kill Pidge. I’m going to drop kick her out of an airlock. Hunk, I’ll smother in his sleep. Shiro, I’m gonna need your help with him —”

 

“Lance, death isn’t the solution,” Keith said calmly. “We need to stage some kind of coup d’etat. If we can get Coran on our side, we might stand a chance —”

 

“Screw that, let’s just go at it _right now,_ ” Lance said, dropping his spoonful of green goo and grinning wolfishly. “We’re the only ones here in —”

 

“What’s up, guys?” Hunk came into the kitchen, smiling brightly. His smile only got brighter when Lance and Keith both whipped around to glare at him. Keith had never, ever wanted to hurt Hunk before —  _ever_ — and yet, right in that moment, he could feel a very strong urge to fling his bowl of blue goo at the Yellow Paladin’s head.

 

“ _Et tu, Hunk_?” Lance cried out. “I know Pidge roped you into this, and she’s scary as hell, but _really_? What benefit do you derive from stabbing your best friend in the back?”

 

“Peace among men, and schadenfreude.” Hunk sat down next to Lance, wrapping an arm around Lance’s shoulders. “Also, that noise you make when you’re super annoyed? Both funny and cute.”

 

Said noise squeaked out of Lance right in that moment, and Keith smiled a bit because, yes, Hunk had the right of it. But then his smile disappeared because _no,_ Hunk needed to be stopped. They _all_ had to be _stopped._

 

For the first week after the science experiment, Keith and Lance played the chaste lovers contently — and it had been nice. Relaxing. Intimate in a different way. For those days, their muscles recovered, the bruises and skin rashes healed, and once they were gone … Keith sort of forgot the actual agony involved in those seven hours. Instead, his brain helpfully reminded him of the ever-present naked boyfriend, the seemingly endless contact with his skin, between their mouths … So maybe launching himself at Lance mid-spar wasn’t the best time, but Lance hadn’t complained …

 

They didn’t know it then, but that would be the _first_ of _many_ times that an alarm would go off and prevent them from reacquainting themselves.

 

The amount of instances in which he and Lance had been _so close,_ only for Allura to stage an _emergency training exercise,_ or for Pidge to set off various sirens and sprinklers in the name of _program error, sorry,_ or for Shiro to wake them up at, as Lance put it, _oh-hell-no o’clock_ in the morning for _newly instituted mandatory calisthenics …_ Between all of that insanity, and their missions to “defend the universe,” by the time they got back to their bed at the end of the day, all they could do was kiss, cuddle, and sleep like the dead.

 

“If I throw Lance on this table right now, you won’t stop us,” Keith stated plainly. “You’ll run away screaming.”

 

Lance cheered up significantly. “Oh, hell yes. Here, you don’t even need to —”

 

The Blue Paladin jumped up, knocking his bowl and Keith’s out of the way, his blue eyes gleaming as he crawled across the surface towards Keith — only to shriek when ice cold water hit him in the side of the face. Keith knew it was ice cold because a split second later he was drenched, cursing and twisting around to see Pidge standing in the doorway, along with Shiro, Allura, and Coran all laughing as she pumped up her water rifle.

 

“How the hell did you … you built your own _super soaker_?” Lance said, flabbergasted. “Okay. I’m slightly less mad, or I will be, if you _make me one too. Pretty please._ ”

 

“I have something better.” Allura stepped around Pidge, holding a bright red package in her hands. “The Olkari ship brought us a delivery from Juk’qzxil. Dr. Gyiak says they have successfully synthesized a stimulant from the pollen, and they shall begin administering it to the population soon.”

 

Lance sat up, crossing his legs on the table and grinning happily. “Awesome! Dude, we literally helped save a whole species. With sex!”

 

Keith nodded, his own grin a tad more subdued but no less sincere. “Yeah. That’s pretty cool.”

 

“And since it’s been almost a month,” Pidge said, taking a seat next to Keith, bumping shoulders with him playfully. “I figure it’s time to stop trolling you guys.”

 

Keith wondered why she was looking at him with such a pointed gaze, her smile ridiculously mischievous, and out of nowhere, his own voice, broken and drowsy, popped into his head. He stared at her, his eyes huge and his mouth open.

 

“Holy — Pidge, _I was half-dead and you took me literally_?”

 

“Wait, what?” Lance asked, confused. Also, trying not-so-subtly to take Pidge’s water gun from her. She waited until he had his hand around the nozzle before spraying him directly in the face. Lance spluttered, batting at the water before settling into a pout, then giving Keith a questioning look again.

 

Keith was still stunned. And _pissed._ “I made a dumb comment in the lab, when we … I was half in a coma, and I said that I wanted to take a month off from …”

 

“I mean, it was too good to pass up, really,” Pidge told a now equally shocked and irate Lance. “You were pretty good about chilling out yourselves for that first week. After that,I decided to _help_ you keeping chilling out. And we’ve done so much these past three weeks! Our environmental sensors and alarms are in tip-top shape — ”

 

“You’ve scored higher on your emergency training than ever before!” Allura said supportively, though her eyes were dancing with mirth.

 

“The cryo-pods and swimming pool have never been cleaner, and the training deck is immaculate, I must say. You really put that energy to good use.” Coran twirled one end of his mustache, raising his eyebrows in innocence when Lance gasped and pointed at him.

 

“Coran, buddy, _how could you?”_

_“Pranking_ was a fine art back in engineering school.” Coran gave Lance an affable grin. “And only my closest friends got me at my _worst._ ”

 

Lance let loose an incredulous little chuckle.

 

“The early calisthenics have really given you all a great edge in combat training — you’re faster, more energetic, your stamina has increased by twelve percent, according to Pidge.” Shiro winked when Keith scowled at him. “We’ll probably ease up and make it three times a week instead of every day, but, you know, great start, team.”

 

“Yeah, that’s pretty much the only thing that sucked about this past month, no offense, Shiro.” Hunk poked at Lance’s side. “Dude, c’mon, tell me those modified jetpacks you helped me build weren’t cool?”

 

“Okay, _yes._ All of this is true, but also, _you’re all terrible people, oh my god._ ”

 

Allura dropped the package onto Lance’s lap. “We’re here to make amends, Lance.”

 

Lance glanced towards Keith. “Do you want me to do the honours?”

 

“Sure,” Keith said, standing up to get a closer look. And maybe to get more contact with Lance.

 

The shiny red box had a lid that slid open easily, and amongst what looked like a fancy bunch of coloured cotton balls was another, smaller box. Lance picked that up and popped the lid to reveal a set of … gold space-chocolate-like things?

 

“They’ve packaged the stimulants into candy spheres,” Allura explained. “Dr. Gyiak decided you and Keith deserved to, ah, have some of your own. The note explains how many to take. It is of a significantly lower concentration, so it should be a much better … experience, this time.”

 

Lance’s blinked wet blue eyes towards Keith, his lips parting. “Is this … Can we …”

 

“We have no engagements for the next few quintants, and Shiro has agreed to a brief reprieve on training.” Allura smiled sheepishly. “The teasing has probably gone on for far too long. I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m not, it was hilarious,” Pidge said, though she did give Lance her water gun as she made to leave. “Have it, I’m making a bigger one. Thinking of strapping a pack to it, maybe adjustable temperatures …”

 

“So, if we go, like, right now, there isn’t going to be some siren, or call to form Voltron or …” Lance had already slid off the table, and Keith tried to be more subtle about his eagerness, but he was probably failing, based on the variety of smirks from everyone present.

 

“Lance, Keith, go get some R and R,” Shiro said with a playful shove at Keith’s shoulder.

 

“Make sure you have plenty of water and food to keep you —” Coran started to say, but Lance was already bolting, grabbing Keith’s wrist.

 

“Bye guys, thanks guys, see ya!” He waved without looking back.

 

Keith risked a glance, seeing Hunk laughing boisterously, Shiro scratching at the back of neck while Allura jabbed him in the side, making him chuckle.

 

And that was all he managed to glimpse before Lance gave him a firm yank into the hallway. They careened around corners, breathless once they reached the door to their room. Lance palmed it open, pulled Keith in — he was pushing Lance against the wall as the door slid shut.

 

The water gun and box of chocolate-pollen-stimulants ended up on the floor. Keith grabbed Lance’s long legs, wrapped them around his waist so he could shove Lance further up the wall, press in closer and consume him with a kiss.

 

In the silence of their room, the sounds of their mouths echoed, pushing Keith harder into Lance, awakening the urge to rip more noises from his boyfriend. Lance shoved at his shoulders, just enough break the kiss. Keith thought he heard himself whine, but he _refused_ to believe he could make that kind of sound.

 

“Should we break into those chocolates now? Or later?” Lance asked, already winded.

 

Keith looked down at the floor, at the innocent tin. “I don’t think we really need them right this second. Trust me, I’m plenty motivated.” His hips rolled up into Lance, whose breath hitched mid-laugh.

 

“I know, querido, but think about it — Allura said there’s nothing happening for a few days. Shiro’s cutting us a break on those damn early morning workouts … Who knows when we’ll ever get this much free time?”

 

That was a very good point. Every bit of frustrated desire in Keith screamed at him to _make up your damn mind, and then take off your damn clothes._ So, really, there was only one decision. He set Lance on his feet gently, and then bent to pick up the chocolates. The note was folded and tucked inside. Lance took it and skimmed the instructions.

 

“One chocolate for both of us. We split it down the middle, and it’ll last between six to eight hours. A second dose can be administered after thirty hours. Okay. Wow. Maybe we were at risk of death back then. This is the _reduced_ dosage, and what we got was …”

 

Keith plucked one of the gold spheres, and it split naturally in two halves. He popped one in his mouth without ceremony, and pressed the other against Lance’s moving lips. The Blue Paladin licked the chocolate into his mouth. Keith found that it did resemble the taste of Earth chocolate, but a touch … fruitier? A citrusy taste tickled his tongue.

 

Lance nodded, smiling once he’d swallowed. “Not bad! I wonder how long it takes to kick in?”

 

“I wonder if we’ll notice considering how badly …” Keith trailed off as Lance started stripping.

 

“Yeah, let’s get a move on, please, before —”

 

“Wow, the romance. Apparently it’s not just dirty talk that you suck at,” Keith said dryly, laughing when Lance threw his socks at him.

 

“Wanna see me suck at something else?” Lance retorted, somehow managing to sound both irritated and amused.

 

“Um, not with that tone, no. Angry sucking seems like a bad idea.” Keith was still snickering when Lance started helping him with his clothes, and by the time they were both on the bed, Lance was laughing too.

 

“This feels kinda unreal,” Lance said, his hand sliding down Keith’s chest. “Has it really been _a month_? What the hell?”

 

“We have the worst friends,” Keith agreed, kissing Lance softly as those fingers disappeared beneath the blankets.

 

His own hands explored the broad plain of Lance’s back, and just as they reached the base of his spine … An alarm went off.

 

“Oh. Hell. No.” Lance buried his face in Keith’s neck. “No. _This is unreal!_ ”

 

“Lance, Keith!” came Allura’s voice over the Castle comm. “I am so, so sorry, but there are Galra ships on the approach. We need you in your Lions. Now.”

 

Keith felt a rush of fire in his veins that had _nothing_ to do with adrenaline.

 

“Oh crap,” he breathed out. “Lance —”

 

Lance’s blue eyes seemed to take up half his face as his head lifted up. “ _Carajo._ What even …” He scrambled out of bed, throwing on clothes with barely a glance, his jaw clenched. Keith had rarely seen Lance this … _angry._ This _determined._ And maybe the stimulant was a big factor in this, but … it was _really freaking hot._

He was also wearing Keith’s shirt. Very distracting.

 

“Keith, get your ass in gear. We are going to _annihilate those Galra. Now. Immediately._ Then we are coming straight back here, and we are taking _thirty hours off to do nothing other than each other._ Got it?”

 

Keith nodded. “Yes, sir.”

 

Lance closed his eyes. “Don’t … Damn it, _move_!”

 

Keith did as he was told, and once they were both clothed, albeit slightly mismatched, they rushed off to their Lions. They would normally give each other a kiss before battle, but Keith didn’t dare risk it — the stimulant wasn’t nearly as potent as the pollen had been, but he still felt strongly compelled to attach his hands to Lance and never let go. Every nerve was alight with sensation — thankfully clothes didn’t itch like before — and every instinct in him wanted nothing other than _Lance._

Lance gave him a clumsy pat on the head and sent him on his way with a, “Be careful! I’ll be watching your back!”

 

“Same!” Keith called to him as they split up.

 

They were off and in space before Keith knew it, so severe was his focus on, well, keeping his focus _off_ of Lance.

 

“Guys, we’re like, a level of sorry that cannot be quantified,” Hunk said as soon as they were all flying towards the small fleet of Galra that circled a nearby planet. “Seriously, wow, this is such bad luck, I don’t even —”

 

“Did you take the stimulant?” Pidge’s worry was clear.

 

“We’ll be fine,” Keith gritted out.

 

“Oh, that’s a yes,” Pidge groaned.

 

“Keith! Lance! Are you compromised?” Shiro asked briskly. “Be honest, guys, we can’t afford mistakes here. At least not ones that can be avoided. Can you handle it?”

 

“Yes!” Lance answered, though he, like Keith, seemed strained. “Yes, we can, just let us do our thing.”

 

Shortly after that, the Blue Paladin switched to private comms. “Keith?”

 

Keith was concentrating so hard his brain felt like it may pull a muscle. He grunted to acknowledge Lance.

 

“I meant what I said. Whatever we have to do to end this. But don’t risk your life unnecessarily! Got it?”

 

Keith nodded, flicking his gaze over to where Lance was staring intensely at him from the viewscreen. “Got it.”

 

The battle kicked off in full force. Keith channelled the burning beneath his skin into a sharp, fierce execution of feats and fires that left the attacking Galra as flaming wrecks. Lance flew accompanied by ferociously precise sweeps of ice and snaps of his Lion’s tail. Sonic beams rendered ships immobile while Keith launched flaming blasts.

 

At one point the Galra general in charge of this fleet reached out into their communications and tried to intimidate them.

 

“ _Voltron, you are weak! When our reinfor—”_

Keith patched into the Galra fleet’s comms, not even waiting for the general to finish his sentence, glaring at the viewscreen with every bit of scorching malice he could conjure up.

 

“No. There will be no reinforcements because you are about to surrender. If you do not surrender, then I will _destroy_ you. I will board your ship and take you apart piece by piece with my sword until there’s nothing left but your _screaming mouth_. Shut the fuck up and deal with the fact that you’ve lost and maybe, _just maybe,_ you’ll make it out of here _breathing_.”

 

Keith was _done_ with this crap.

 

A second later, the last remaining Galra ships yielded.

 

Lance took over and hailed a nearby Olkari ship on patrol, and it changed course, now on its way to round up the prisoners. Once that was said and done, Lance appeared on Keith’s screen, his helmet off, and his irises nearly _completely_ black.

 

“ _Keith. Get your ass back to the Castle._ ”

 

Immediately after speaking, he flew off, Keith hot on his tail. They didn’t even bother reaching out to the others, who seemed to hang in the air, frozen as Keith and Lance cleaned up shop and then bolted for the Castle docking bays.

 

Keith all but rolled out of his Lion, and he raised his head just in time to see Lance tumbling from Blue, stripping off his armour as he walked speedily … _away from Keith?_

 

“Wha-what are you doing?” Keith called hoarsely, running after him automatically.

 

“I am going to our room _right the fuck now_ because if I _stop_ to even _look at you,_ then we’re going to end up on the floor. I want a _bed._ ”

 

Keith understood this logic, accepted it without question as he followed just a foot behind Lance until they finally reached the door. Lance was palming it open and spinning around to face Keith simultaneously. Their mouths crashed together, Lance laughing at their graceless kisses, Keith snorting at their clumsy attempts to get inside without tripping over each other.

 

The door slid shut and they both fell towards the bed, only just making it, their legs dangling off to the side. They kept kissing, even as their hands dug beneath sweaty clothes (Lance was still wearing Keith’s shirt, which was hot, but Keith wanted it _gone_ ). It took a few minutes for them to give up and separate so that clothes could be removed rapidly.

 

They lost track of time, became aware of nothing other than skin on skin, breathless commands and pleas, incoherent noises and soft, sated sighs.

 

In the aftermath, Lance lay gasping, slumped over Keith’s chest, while Keith stared up at the ceiling, waiting for his hearing to come back.

 

“Holy …” Lance let out a hysterical laugh. “Okay. Maybe we should _thank them_ all for the trolling? Because … _te digo,_ that was … _coño, cual es la maldita palabra en inglés …_ ”

 

“I think the word you’re looking for is _awesome._ Possibly also _mind-blowing_ or _spectacular._ ” Keith shifted just enough to squint at the time display on the wall just above their bed. “That was about five hours, but I don’t feel like death. They definitely improved the formula.”

 

Lance hummed his agreement, and then they lapsed into a pleasantly tired silence. Lance adjusted himself into a more comfortable position, his head tucked under Keith’s chin.

 

“Hm … when we tell of our great adventures as Paladins of Voltron, I’m not sure we should include this? Except that it is so very awesome …” Lance trailed off, making pensive noises.

 

Keith chuckled, one of his hands running through Lance’s hair. “I mean, I’m actually kind of okay with the whole ‘saved a civilization with sex’ stuff … Let’s just leave out our reward.”

 

“And maybe the fact that we fought under the influence of a pretty intense aphrodisiac.” Lance giggled a little. “Man, I can’t believe Shiro let us get away with that …”

 

“If anyone else could pilot our Lions, he probably wouldn’t have,” Keith said with a smile. “But, you know, desperate times.”

 

They fell asleep mid-conversation about what parts of their journey so far would need to be edited down or cut out completely. Keith had a vague notion of starting to keep a journal. He didn’t ever want to forget that one mission where Lance and Hunk were appointed guardians of a three-year-old princeling. A prince who had the Blue and Yellow Paladins dressed in wonderfully frilled uniforms while they carried around his majesty's plushie companions in _baby slings._

Keith went to sleep with a smile on his face.

The next day, they were seated at breakfast, and Keith was feeling distinctly _relaxed_ in a way that he hadn’t felt for nearly a month. Lance was plastered to his side the entire morning thus far, and they were probably smiling at each other like total dorks, but Keith didn’t care.

 

Allura and Shiro came in while reviewing the previous day’s mission. Allura paused, pointing towards Lance and Keith. “I agree that ultimately no harm was done, but we should definitely be sure not to, ah, repeat that experience, if possible?”

 

Shiro nodded, giving Lance and Keith an apologetic look. “We’re discussing a moratorium on any mind-altering substances. We can never be sure when Voltron will be needed, which means we need to be sober at all times …”

 

“Trust me, Shiro, I’d never been more sober in _my life,_ ” Lance said dryly. “But I get what you’re saying.”

 

“This means that you should probably be putting more effort into a regular sleep cycle,” Keith pointed out, his eyes narrowing at the Black Paladin. “Because midnight training followed by _early morning_ training isn’t a great solution.”

 

“Your hypocrisy and concern are duly noted,” Shiro said with a sarcastic salute, though he softened it with a smile. “And, ah, I’m really glad you and Lance had a small break last night.”

 

“Oh, there was some _breaking —_ ” Lance was cut off as Keith immediately covered his mouth, sensing a horrible pun on the horizon.

 

“It was great, thanks.” Keith kissed Lance’s cheek even as his boyfriend glared at him from the corner of his eyes.

 

“Well, despite your unfortunate circumstances … I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Galra general so thoroughly cowed before,” Allura chirped happily. “The Olkari reported that nearly every one of the captives were highly concerned that they would be facing interrogation with _the Red Paladin._ ” She spoke Keith’s title in an exaggeratedly low, ominous tone.

 

“Aw, querido, you’re a feared legend in the galaxy now, I’ll bet!” Lance proclaimed proudly. “I can’t wait to see all the rumours that spring up around your name. And how many Galra are gonna surrender just so that they don’t face your sex-deprived wrath.”

 

“None because _no one outside of this Castle_ is _ever_ going to know that’s why this happened,” Keith rushed to say. “Right?”

 

Allura and Shiro both nodded, though Keith did not appreciate the teasing glint in both their eyes.

 

“Allura, Dr. Gyiak appreciated your report on the potential war-time implications of … oh.” Coran stopped mid-sentence as both Keith and Lance erupted in wordless protests. “Well. It was for the greater good, boys?”

 

“You know what? I think _training_ is for the greater good.” Keith stood up, shooting a swift, sharp smile at all of them. “And I think the princess and Coran should join us. You too, Shiro. Lance has been getting _really good_ with the stun guns.”

 

“You should definitely see Keith with the baton-taser things,” Lance chimed in, his grin distinctly evil. “C’mon, Shiro. Always need to be ready for any possibility.”

 

“Because, you see, there are _other ways_ I can work out my frustrations,” Keith finished, crossing his arms as he stood toe-to-toe with his leader and best friend.

 

Shiro sighed heavily, rubbing at his forehead. “I earned this, didn’t I?”

 

“I’ll be there momentarily, and yes, I admit my fault,” Allura said, though she was grinning widely. “That being said, I will not go down easy.”

 

“Nor shall I,” Coran announced. “Furthermore, I believe I can recruit two other Paladins to my side.”

 

“Even better!” Lance jeered. “Let’s get all our family in the room for a _well-deserved_ beat down, right?”

 

“Right,” Keith agreed viciously.

 

An epic battle ensued on the training deck. Lance and Keith versus everyone else lasted far longer than either side expected; Hunk managed to work in his latest experiments with the jetpacks, while Pidge played dirty by modifying the training bots' programming and rallying them to her. Allura was as fast, if not faster, than Keith, and as powerful as Shiro. Coran … Coran had been downright _terrifying_ when he put his mind to it.

 

Throughout it all, there had been much laughter, smack talk, and triumphant crowing from Lance as they scored hits and then reset the arena, over and over.

 

It had been exhausting, amazing, and a perfectly valid method for expending excess energy … Except that, even for someone as devoted to the art of combat as Keith, this kind of energy-spending still came in second to the way Lance crooked his finger at him at the end of their free-for-all war against the rest of the team … The way he hauled him in for a passionate kiss, ignoring how the others booed and mocked them as they abandoned the training deck to the Red and Blue Paladins.

 

The way that Lance shamelessly stripped off his armour, effortlessly helping Keith with his own, and dragged him down to the floor amidst scorch marks and training bot parts …

 

Keith didn’t need an aphrodisiac to thoroughly lose himself in his boyfriend, and he didn’t need to brag to the entire galaxy about how he’d saved a planet by way of experimenting with said aphrodisiac … All he needed, all he would ever need, was a willing Lance in his arms, blue eyes flashing with love and good humour, and maybe a little bit in the way of bragging rights because getting to keep this amazing man all to himself was pretty freaking awesome, mind-blowing, and  _spectacular._

 

 

******

**Author's Note:**

> Such a cheesy ending, but endings are hard. Like, _really difficult_. Also, this whole thing was silly and kind of pointless, though fun, but I was struggling with the whole _why_ of it all … I guess, like many things I write, it remains a mystery as to how it came about :) I had this sitting on my computer mostly done, just missing an ending for three months, and suddenly I finished it in less than a day. Writing is weird sometimes.
> 
> If anyone reads this, sorry for silliness, and thank you indulging me — you’re awesome. As I said, this started out as a random blurb on [Tumblr](http://thisgirlhastales.tumblr.com/). Feel free to follow me there for maybe more embarrassing shenanigans like this.
> 
> (Seriously still having trouble believing I wrote this thing — I'm such a damn awkward turtle.)


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